For the Quickfire Challenge, Top Chef Just Desserts brought in cake maven Sylvia Weinstock to guest judge. The challenge itself - create a beautiful and tasty wedding cake with pre-made cakes. In 90 minutes. Panic ensues, as does a lot of cursing.
Seth, of course, has a problem with this - he doesn't do wedding cakes - so he plans to make a miniature version and call it an "engagement cake." Malika has also has issues - her cake won't stay together for her. (I'm guessing this is because she chose to make a custard filling that just might have been too soft/liquidy.) While her cake disaster is going on, she's shaking the table, which causes straight-guy Morgan to yell at her and call her "shaky." She then goes off on him and demands he address her by her name.
Whew. Drama queens.
After tasting, Malika and Seth are on the bottom, along with Eric, who as a professional baker should have had this challenge in the bag, dontcha think? On top are Erika, Morgan (douchy perhaps, but he made a lovely fondant-wrapped cake), and Heather H, whose cake was simple elegance. Sylvia Weinstock liked Erika's mocha cake best, which gives her immunity in the next challenge...
...which is...to make treats for a bake sale. The pastrycheftestants break into two groups of five by drawing cookies from a cookie jar (awww...how twee!). Seth's team is full of people who have had altercations with him in the past, so we know that's going to be a sweaty ball of drama. And then Top Chef turns into an episode of "Glee" when the St Monica's High School "Rainbow Riders" and "Mariners" come in singing and cheering, respectively. Both the Glee Club and the Pep Squad want to take special summer trips and the bake sale is a way for them to raise money. There will be 490 tickets, each worth $1, available to students and staff with which to buy baked goods. The team with the most tickets at the end of the sale is the winner, and the winners get $5000.
After deciding on who will create what tasty treat, the pastrycheftestants have two hours to work. Heather C wants to make whoopie pies but is shot down and told to make peanut butter cookies. In her anger, she bogarts all of the peanut butter, which Eric needs for his peanut butter krispie bars. Eric's teammate Morgan shows solidarity by stealing all of the butter.
Then Sue Sylvester comes in and tells Johnny Iuzzini that his hair resembles the Matterhorn after a freak aerial oil spill orchestrated by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the ghost of Jimmy Hoffa.
And I'm dying to throw a slushie at somebody.
Later, back at the house, Malika ponders whether she wants to remain in the competition and tells her roommate that she's thinking of leaving. But the next day she shows up to sell her treats along with everyone else.
During the bake sale, Seth decides he doesn't want to deal with children so he hangs back and puts samples together while everyone else interacts. In the end, after an entirely too-lengthy segment of kids smearing cupcake icing on their faces (did we really need another supersized episode?) we get the tallys. The Glee Club team has raised $240 and the Pep Squad team has raised $250. However, Bravo generously offers to pay for both teams' camp events and gives an additional $5000 to St Monica's School.
Back at Judges' Table, the winning team is praised for their goodies. While Erika's chocolate chip cookie was "the ultimate," and Malika's toffee brownie scored high points for texture, it was Eric's peanut butter and Nutella krispie treats that won the challenge.
When the losing team comes out, there's all sorts of ugliness. Danielle immediately hurls Seth under the bus and runs back and forth over him a few times. The rest of the team defends him, probably because they feel sorry for his ass. However, his financier is too fancy for a bake sale. Heather decides to pipe up that she really didn't want to make a cookie, but the team wouldn't let her do what she wanted, which raises more eyebrows and voices in the group. (I swear, it's like elementary school on this show with all of the snotty noses and finger pointing.) Zac's strawberry shortcake was not appropriate and his biscuits were too hard. Danielle's cupcake was dry. Yigit's pudding was too gingery. And Heather C's "I don't want to make this peanut butter cookie" was too pedestrian. Judge Dannielle Kyrillos says "you could taste the resentment in her cookie."
After all, she didn't even bother to make the traditional fork tines criss-cross pattern in the tops. Now that's resentment.
Back in the stew room, the festivities continue as Danielle calls Seth a "piece of shit." Awww...how sweet. At this point I'm hoping ALL of them get sent home. Ultimately, however, Heather C's attitude and ordinary cookie gets her the boot.
So what did you think about this episode? Please tell us in the comments.
