Monday, September 7, 2009

Recap Roundup: Top Chef Las Vegas Episode 3


Another week, another ten bloggers start adding some variation of "douche" to Mike I.'s name. Plus, potatoes, airmen, and a whole lot of military love. But do the bloggers agree? Let's find out:

Cliffieland on Vegas surprises: "What incongruous Vegas cliché will greet them in the kitchen today, pray tell? Shall we see a parade of Liberaces appear? Shall Cirque du Soleil acrobats be hanging from the rafters? Or will the kitchen simply be filled with this week’s mystery ingredient, cigarette smoke?"

Jordan Baker on Emo Top Chef: "The episode generally was quite nice, though I resent Top Chef making me tear up so much. I’m just here to drool over the food, people. I don’t want to have to feel my feelings while I’m doing that."

Minx Eats on the Lesbian Quickfire: "When I hear "out-of-this-world," I think that Brother Michael is going to break out the liquid nitrogen again and Brother Bryan is going to play it simple and classic and use the cryovacker, the immersion circulator and maybe some foam. But I was disappointed. Instead of Spaceman cookery, we got the Battle of the Lesbians."

My Monkey Could Do That on Mike I.'s risotto lesson: "Mike is making risotto, but with tiny diced potatoes. And because we didn’t talk to him last week, he makes up for it by interviewing that “risotto” refers to the cooking technique, not the rice. But of course he’s an ass about it, because all of us have personally offended him by telling him risotto is the rice."

Rochester City Newspaper on three-ways (no...not that kind of three-way): "Many of the chefs went with sweet potatoes, and several of them did the infuriating '______ three ways' that chefs do every year, and always get dinged for because they made three mediocre elements rather than focusing on one really great one. "

Reality Check (Baltimore Sun) on va-va-va-voom Padma: "We have to pause to comment on Padma's outfit this week. Liz loves leopard prints, actually any animal print, but Padma looked like she had joined the USO and was going to be entertaining the troops rather than judging the food. But she's still gorgeous."

Entertainment Weekly on patriotism, the military, and (the lack of) controversy: "The challenge got the contestants waxing patriotic about their own relations to the military: brothers Bryan and Michael V.'s sister has served in the air force, Kevin participated in ROTC, and Preeti said it was on 9/11 that she realized she wanted to be a chef. She didn't really explain the connection, but the bigger ''Huh?'' moment was when Ashley didn't bring up anything about gay rights after finding out the military was this week's theme. "

Food and More (Atlanta Journal Constitution) catching just one more douchey Mike I. comment: "The next morning, a convoy of jeeps takes the chefs to the airplane hangar where they’ll serve their lunch. Mike I. is thrilled with his vehicular convoy and comments, 'It’s pretty cool. It’s like we’re going to war or something.' Um, yeah, minus the I.E.D.s, bouchedag."

Fork in the Road (Village Voice) summing up the spoilers: "Preeti, Laurine, and Mike were singled out for their crimes against pasta salad and shrimp, respectively, and while it was fun to watch Mike pitch a hissy fit upon realizing that Michael's pork belly didn't make him immune to criticism, it was equally satisfying to watch Padma tell Preeti to pack up her knives -- when someone doesn't realize why deli-style pasta salad is a bad idea, it's time to get the hell out of Vegas."

The Kitchn on the Quickfire: "The quickfire challenge presented the chefs with every kind of potato imaginable and set them loose to make something wonderful. We love to see simple vegetables shine, so we really enjoyed this challenge."

Time Out Chicago on the pasta salad fiasco: "Come on. That pasta salad looked like something I made in fifth grade. Were I Gael Greene, I would have said: 'No stars!!'"

PB Pulse on the chef-match: "Some of the pairings were perfect - Old friends Mike V. and Bad Mike, Southerners Eli and Kevin, and talented cutey-cutes Bryan and Mattin, Bob’s French Big Boy. And others were just sort of sad, like Ron and Jesse, who nobody picked and were left standing alone. Like the cheese."

Grub Street summarizes: "Last night's Top Chef managed to combine the irksome, the noble, potatoes, whining, winning, and slab bacon."

Televisionary on Jennifer's Quickfire win (plus Mike I. AGAIN): "A stunning dish that once again makes everyone in the competition take notice of Jennifer, especially the obnoxiously arrogant Mike I., whose skills so far have yet to match his ego."

TV Squad on bacon's Chuck Norris-like capabilities: "Given enough patience and time, bacon can move mountains, eradicate poverty and help scientists discover a lifelong cure for herpes simplex one."

Give Me My Remote on fiery Padma's Preeti smackdown: "I don’t know WHAT got into Padma last night, but good LORD! I was all, you go girl! when Preeti brought up the clam chowder in 90 degree heat, and Padma put the smackdown on how their version of clam chowder was better than her version of a pasta salad. Oh snap!"

TV Fodder on the troops' reactions: "The troops seemed very pleased with their meals. Many of them had recently returned from their tours of duty and others were about to be deployed. Some of them were very happy to have some tastes that brought them back home."

Onion AV Club on the weird 9/11 connection: "Anyone else weirded out by Preeti’s comment about 9/11 inspiring her to be a chef? I guess that day gave everyone’s life a little clarity, but the way she phrased it was kind of unseemly. Just not that mouth-watering a day."

Daily Dish (LA Times) on Jennifer's skills: "The Vegas chefs bumbled around for space and vied for time with the wok, but Jen kept things orderly by labeling items with masking tape and allotting time for each chef with the various cooking tools."

The Faster Times on potatoes and Peel: "The guest judge for this week’s episode is Mark Peel. The quickfire challenge involves peeling potatoes. Peel explains that he began his career as a potato peeler. This is a joke, right?"

Meal Ticket on the new Holy Trinity: "The Woman, Jen C, who won immunity for steamed mussels in a lemongrass potato sauce that featured three things I wish were conveniently transportable in one’s billfold: duck fat, butter and creme fraiche. JEN C!"

Left Coast Catering (Laurine's blog) on how she really feels: "I would have been okay going home for that pasta salad, because it was half my dish and I’m more concerned with maintaining some integrity, than with winning this thing, no holds barred. I’d just served 300 soldiers a well rounded meal, after all, which is no small feat. I had plenty to be proud of."

Sign On San Diego on why the spirit of competition matters: "The competitive ones stepped up and took control of their fates. The others were sidelined and almost booted off the show altogether. The biggest mistake the losing team of Preeti and Laurine (pictured, left and right respectively) made was not wanting to win enough."

Las Vegas Movie/TV Examiner on the challenging part of the challenge: "Commander Dave Belote greeted them and then they found out the good news. They had to use the ingredients and even worse, the industrial equipment used at the Nellis kitchen to cook thousands of meals at week."

Box Office Prophets on Quickfire missteps: "Eli has mader a yam puree with pistachios but Padma gets a mouthful of pistachio shells. Ooops. Jesse and her spicy sweet potato soup have made Mark Peel do a double take ("You like cayenne," he intuits.)"

Procrastiblog on what we learn from this experience: "We’ve seen it time and time again: the cheftestants are asked to collaboratively prepare a meal and, in service of the master plan, some schook gets stuck making a salad or a dessert or a side of potatoes. And the judges look at the schnook and say, 'How in the world did you think you were going to win this competition with a salad or a dessert or a side of potatoes?' And the schnook says, 'No meal is complete without a salad or a dessert or a side of potatoes!' And the judges say, 'Go home.' Don’t put yourself in that position."

Max the Girl on the ladies: "Oh, and way to represent, ladies. So far we’ve had three shows and, yes, three women have gotten the boot. (Somewhere, Julia Child is weeping.) It’s not surprising when you think about it, since all these women were dealing with some serious self-esteem issues."

1 comment:

theminx said...

Man, Kit - your job gets more and more time-consuming each week!