Recap Roundup - Top Chef All-Stars Episode 9

Monkeys as Critics on the dangers of fondue: "Anyway, time for the Quickfire Challenge! Richard walks into the kitchen and sees fondue pots. He immediately starts thinking ‘70s bellbottoms, chunky soled shoes and nudity. Richard is sure his parents went to a nude fondue party. I’m hoping they didn’t, because fondue made up of cheese or hot oil and it can splatter. A party just isn’t fun with second and third degree burns on your private parts, no matter what decade it takes place in."

Max the Girl on gang signs: "'I’m going to be honest. I’m going to be like NY Times reviewers up in this bitch,' says Dale. (Now that Marcel is gone, he has decided that he will represent the gangsta side of Top Chef.)"

Eater's recap is great, but this is the best part:

Grubstreet on interstitials: "Of course, the chefs couldn't get to cooking before opening their freezer containing only Buitoni products and having a conversation about their favorite Buitoni raviolis. Nor could Dale get started before he admired Angelo in his tight purple pants, calling him a 'stunning man.'"

Minxeats on being helpful: "Antonia is a bit stymied with having to cook tongue in a mere two hours, so Blais gives her tips on how to use a pressure cooker. Apparently he's been helping everyone, and in a lot of cases, those to whom he lends a hand go on to win the challenge, while he finishes in the middle somewhere. Hmm...maybe he should stop doing that?"

Jordan Baker on confusion:, "Mike’s doing his sausage and peppers “Fenway style” because he thinks Jimmy Fallon is from Boston. Um…no. Mike apparently doesn’t know the difference between "acting" and "real, and has conflated Brooklyn-born Jimmy Fallon with his Bostonian characters from Saturday Night Live and Fever Pitch."

Cliffieland on Blais trying something different for a change: "Later, as the shopping and cooking commences, we see that Richard is going against type with this challenge, opting to make a very simple, traditional preparation, eschewing the expected elements of liquid nitrogen, foie gras and the USC Trojans Marching Band."

My Monkey Could Do That on ha, ha: "Commercial interlude: Jimmy tells a story about how Food and Wine magazine asked him for a recipe, and he gave them one from his mom, which she originally got from…Food and Wine magazine. Eh…that was like, mildly amusing at best."

David Dust on tasteless remarks: "Finally, Dale’s boyfriend (and beautiful man) Angelo presents his Pulled Pork - complete with his homemade rub. And Mike gives them all a big taste of his Sausage (and Peppers). Of course, the guests and judges make a lot of tasteless, innuendo-dripping sausage/pork/meat comments - which I found to be offensive and juvenile. Thank goodness I don’t act like that."

Serious Eats on Higgins: "Everyone liked Angelo's pulled pork sandwich as well. Fallon's announcer joked, 'I pull my own pork a lot but if Angelo's gonna pull it for me, God bless him.' (You see that, lead joke writer dude? That's how it's done!)"

Fabio on his own elimination: "I dont care ablout the outcome of the show, all i REALLY CARE IS HOW MUCH ALL MY FOLLOWERS MEAN TO ME, you guys gave me Goosebumps !!!! I felt Loved and all of you that Stood Up for me THANK YOU !!!!!!!"