Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Recap Roundup - Top Chef Texas Episode 9

Jordan Baker on "modern" according to Chris Crary: "Handsome Chris thinks he’s a Modern person, because he paints a lot of pop-art-esque naked ladies and has a 'Modern' apartment. This is dude-bro code for 'owns a lot of IKEA furniture that he had the delivery guys assemble rather than putting it together himself'."

A Just Recompense on Beverly: "We haven’t heard from Beverly in a while, what’s she up to? I bet she’s doing something cute and socially awkward – why, yes, she is! She’s burning down a trailer with four-foot flames (under a five-foot ceiling) from a pot of blazing bourbon! And when she sets off the smoke alarm she carries the pan out of the trailer and puts it down on the (very dry) grass and goes back to disable the smoke alarm! Tee-hee! That silly socially awkward girl! Someone comes along and puts a pan on top of the flames to douse the fire. MalibuChris says, 'She’s book smart but missing a few chapters when it comes to common sense.'"

Minxeats on premature ejaculation: "After 45 minutes of cooking, the cheftestants put down the liquid nitrogen and Padma and Myhrvold go a-tasting. The first person they visit is Beverly, who has made a curry foam which she immediately propels out of the canister and onto Padma's dress and Nathan's pants, making them look like they just got back from a quickie in the walk-in. (Speaking of Padma's dress, it appears that she was one of the few people able to purchase something from the Missoni collection at Target in the 13.5 minutes before it sold out.)"

David Dust on Modernist Cuisine: "Chefs study books, go to bed, and then head to the Top Chef kitchen. The author of the book is there. He is a huge nerd. Blah blah blah Molecular Gastronomy blah blah blah Modernist blah techniques blah blah."

Carol Blymire on Sarah's health issues: "This is clearly not a one-stitch situation. I’m generally pretty tough on cheftestants when I think they’re wussing out over a tiny finger cut, but heart rate and blood pressure are not something you mess around with. No one will bleed out and die if they don’t get that one stitch. But having your cardiopulmonary system go out of whack? That’s not something you can or should ever just 'push through.'"

Max the Girl on the Bravo interns strike again: "Anyhoo, it’s getting late—3:28 p.m. is dramatically flashed across the screen (pretty sure you mean, a.m. there, Bravo)—and everyone is loopy, especially Grayson (all nighters serve as a kind of truth serum for her.)
“You’re going to love it,” she says to Tom C. when he comes to check out everyone’s progress. “It’s going to be like sex in your mouth.” (Really.)"

Eater on smarts: "Myhrvold is this week's Quickfire judge. Chris Jones, a molecular gastronomist himself, is in awe of him. 'If I was 1/10th as smart as him, I could rule a continent.' What continent? Like, Australia, because I feel that I could pull that off. Also, why not start smaller, like with a state? From what I can tell you rule nothing. Also, Chef Myhrvold is as smart as himself, and he is not in charge of anything."

Gail Simmons for PopWatch on the difference between grilling and barbecue: "The difference between grilling and barbecuing is really, really important. Everyone can put a burger or steak on a grill. That’s not barbecuing. Barbecuing [involves] smoke, [cooking on] low heat for a really long time, and very specific cuts of meat that lend themselves best to that kind of cooking. Every kind of region has their own specialties. Ribs are certainly one, and brisket in Texas is sort of the ultimate thing to barbecue."

Entertainment Weekly on Malibu: "The judges debated whether the texture of the meat or the seasoning was the bigger problem, and ultimately they decided most of the blame lay on Chris Crary for making the ribs inedibly salty and coming up with an uninspired Dr. Pepper BBQ sauce. I was just starting to appreciate Chris Crary. I found him slightly unsettling since the beginning, with his pitch-black eyes and weirdly expressionless face. I wasn't the least bit surprised to learn that he painted nudes and hung them around his house. Still, I was inspired by his story of going from chubster to 'Malibu' Chris (that nickname is terrible), and now we can debate who the most handsome remaining male is. That's a toughie."

Cliffieland on overnighters: "Soon, the chefs are starting their marathon all-night cooking session (their second of the season). We have a 'crisis' at the middle-of-the-night time of 3 p.m. (at least according to the on-screen chyron) where Team Blue's meat falls off the racks in the smoker. We have footage of Pretty Chris phallically peeling carrots. And we have the 'crisis' of Beverly setting fire to a pot of bourbon and starting the famous wildfires which raged across Texas all summer."

Foodie Buddha brings us this week's culinary terms.

Posted on AllTopChef.com

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