Recap Roundup - Top Chef All-Stars Episode 4

Minxeats on the Quickfire: "This is the Swanson Broth Quickfire to test the contestants' imagination and resourcefulness; the one who excels will win not only immunity from Elimination in the next challenge but also $20K. And possibly a lifetime supply of Swanson Broth."

Jordan Baker on this week's "fakeout" scene: "Fakeback! It seems to involve some kind of cheerleading challenge, where Mike says “you cheer, she dances, and Angelo will be like the male dancer.” Then they all dance and talk about how Mike brings out the goofier side of them."

After Ellen on smooth moves: "Guest Judge Tony calls out Carla, Tiffani and Casey’s dishes as his least favorite. His favorites then are Tre and Marcel. But then who took home immunity and big bucks? Tre. Thrilled with his win he runs out to shake Tony’s hand and give Padma a hug. Smooth move, man – you’ve got to take your opportunities to get a little mmm, Padma, mmm action whenever you can."

Monkeys as Critics on a Zen attitude: "The chefs go raring into the pantry like shoppers at Wal-Mart on Black Friday. Carla being Carla, she decides to walk in after the melee has died down. Thus, Carla ends up with black quinoa. Black quinoa actually could be wonderful if it didn’t take forever and a day to cook, and while this que sera, sera attitude is awfully zen by way of Doris Day of her, I wish she’d fight a little harder."

Fork in the Road on Antonia's athletic prowess: " But the very best line of the night, and possibly Top Chef's entire history to date, came from Antonia, who shrugged and said, 'I never played sports in high school. I smoked a lot of pot and didn't do anything else.' For that, we would like to declare this season finished, with Antonia as its de-facto champion."

Max the Girl on guest judges: "Also, not to be ungrateful, but of all the hot, high-profile tennis stars they could’ve gotten—Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Novak Djokavich, Andy Roddick—they go with...Taylor Dent? (Cue the 'you lose' game show music.) Nothing against Mr. Dent, boy has a wicked serve. But still...."

Carol Blymire on team dynamics: "Tre goes next even though he has immunity, and Angelo "helps" Tre by overcooking his fish. Stitch [Jamie] just hides her sorry ass in the background, saying she really doesn't want to go at all because her dish is terrible and she'll lose. My question is: Why does no one stand up to her? Why does her team let her pull this crap?"

Creative Loafing on Taylor Dent: "As for the Elimination Challenge, they were once again on teams and competing at the US Open (the famous tennis venue), creating healthy dishes for tennis players. I’m not quite sure who the pro tennis player guest judge was, but I do know that they could’ve picked someone a bit more articulate to judge — someone who gave us more than, 'That tasted good.'"

EW on Dale's judgement of Carla's decision to make soup: "Dale shows poor psychic abilities. 'Has anyone been to the U.S. Open?' he asks, a distinct tone of judgment in his voice. 'It’s a very upscale event.' He explains via confessional that vegetarian soups are not upscale, using 'vegetarian' in the same vaguely sinister way some people say, 'Barack Hussein Obama.'"

Eater on alleged nutritional supplements: "As anyone who follows tennis knows, tennis players are high-performance athletes, and they follow a very strict diet: it's all about healthy and high energy food, and also recreational cocaine use. The chefs first split into teams using the very normal colored-tennis-ball ethos."

Food and More on strategy gone awry: "So, it is up to Tre to keep them from the loser’s table. That sounds great, in theory, until Tre decides that Angelo should be trusted to cook his fish. Perhaps Tre didn’t remember shafting him out of his extra salmon earlier, but I’m pretty sure that Angelo did. Creepy Mc-graphic tees proceeds to over baste the crap out of Tre’s salmon."

Cliffieland on hair don'ts: "Poor Spike. As much as I hated him in his season, I'd become quite fond of him this time around. Plus, we finally saw why he always wears the stupid hats: The all-powerful and world-encompassing Jewfro"

If you have a recap that I've missed, let me know and I'll do a part deux. I know the holidays caused a hiccup in blogging. :)