Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Recap Roundup: Top Chef DC Episode 5

Blue crabs and farms! This Maryland girl was happy to see Old Bay make an appearance, but could've stood a little more decorum around those crabs. But what did the bloggers think?

Jordan Baker haikus: "Oh, Timothy Dean / Barry White voice can’t save your / Invisible veg"

Minx Eats gets Marylandy on the cheftestants: "It's funny to see chefs who are not from this region playing with blue crabs for the first time. Everyone can handle lobsters because most of their meat is in one chunk, but crabs have lots of little hiding places under their shells. The chefs are hammering and chopping at them blindly like total morons."

Cliffieland on Angelo's condition: "Padma: 'You've got crabs!' Me: 'I wonder how long before someone ...' Angelo: 'Well, I've had crabs and it just brought back bad memories.' Me: 'Less than one second. That must be a record. ... Also, why am I not surprised. And ... eeeeew.'"

What'ere, Jane Eyre on the losers: "Tim, Amanda, and Stephen sink to the bottom. Even though Stephen has practically rented a room at Losers' Table, and even though all he did was make a simple salad that he still managed to fuck up, the judges axe Tim, breaking up the Tim/Tiffany dream team that our viewing party was getting such a kick out of. Dang."

My Monkey Could Do That on Kenny's smooth bathrobe: "Commercial interlude: Kenny owns a velour bathrobe. Tim loves it. Andrea and Amanda go through various nicknames. Amanda’s are more offensive in that they all have 'black' in them. Actually all the girls think he’s smooth."

Reality Check (Baltimore Sun) on the carnage: "The folks used to cooking with larger crabs are a little stymied. I had that same issue when I first moved here. Well, not cooking them, but eating them. Also, I just can't deal with watching them get hacked to pieces or cooked while they're still alive. I'm a baby like that."

TWOP on structural issues: "The top four are Kevin, Kenny, Andrea, and Kelly, which is funny because they were the worst (that didn't go home) last week. Just goes to show that the challenge last week was poorly designed. It's one thing when ONE person goes from worst to first, but all four?"

Meal Ticket (Philly City Paper) with a little more MD love: "I was excited about this QF challenge — picking and cooking crabs is a challenge, while forcing professionals to fill jars with mushy shit is not — since I’m from Maryland, but also since I assumed this would be cake for Baltimore chef Tim, who’s been catching all sorts of bad breaks in recent episodes. He does up his crab with avocado, passion fruit and an heirloom tomato vin. “Give it the microphone and let it sing,” goes his crab-cookin’ philosophy. Hell to the yes, my fellow Terp."

Max the Girl on dirty Angelo: "Angelo can't get over how 'luscious' Tamesha's cherry. . . compote is. 'It's super sexy,' he says. Okay, just stop. As for his own duck, 'I basically made love to that duck.' So now the duck has crabs."

Speakeasy (WSJ) on Ed + Tiffany: "Ed is sweet on Tiffany (anytime a man says he loves a woman’s laugh, he’s already a goner), so he tries to impress her by trotting out his trusty time-he-ate-a-fried-crocodile story. She titters appreciatively, craning her neck just so and raising her shoulder coyly. Oh, it’s on."

Best Week Ever on losing words: "Stephen wants to be the 'forefrontrunner' — hopefully not of using correct words — and pulls a classic Top Chef 'I know it’s simple, but…' salad that is destined for failure. Amanda is preparing a minestrone soup and makes the same mistake, saying 'I know minestrone is pedestrian but…' Trouble Twins!"

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