This week, our intrepid cheftestants split their time between cooking gourmet-ified TV dinners inspired by classic TV shows for the TV Guide-Isn't-Even-Food-Related Quickfire and running out the clock making vegetarian meals for an impossibly adorable Natalie Portman.The judges favorite dishes came from Michael V. (full of humor, and somehow tasty, too), Eli ("I'm not in the middle anymore! The Force is with me!"), and Kevin (mushrooms=meat). Kevin took home the big prize - his fourth so far this season - and he even won the Quickfire, too, for his Sopranos-inspired meatballs. Lucky guy is probably installing that suite of GE appliances in his home kitchen right now.
Less lucky were Jen (so nervous she spilled sauce on the diners), Robin (aka Jesse Spano during the very special "speed" episode of Saved by the Bell), and Mike Isabella (do I even have to call him DoucheyMike?). In spite of his self-confidence, which appears quite sincere, and the fact that his mom was a vegan when he was a kid...and that he cooks about 20 vegetarian dishes at his restaurant (which is, by all accounts, excellent), Mike Isabella was PPYKAG'ed, leaving the mansion minus one d-bag.
A few questions and thoughts on this episode:
- Top Chef frozen dinners? Seriously, Bravo? At what point does the whoring stop? WHEN WILL YOU HAVE MADE ENOUGH MONEY OFF THIS FRANCHISE?
- Padma and jumpsuits. Discuss.
- In a movie star/vegetarian girlfight, who would win: Natalie Portman or Zooey Deschanel? What if each one could only use her cuteness as a weapon?
- Is it possible that Jen, who's been one of my favorites since the very start, is actually going to implode before the finale? I do not want to hear this.
- As a corollary to the above, Robin is actually still there? 85% of the viewers who voted in Bravo's poll want her out. Is this not American Idol? Oh, right.
- Things we learned about the cheftestants this week: Robin wasn't allowed to watch TV as a child, Kevin likes frozen food (all food, actually), Michael V. is a bad loser (even when he doesn't totally lose), Jen is looking for a guy to drag her around by her hair, and Eli is a Star Wars nerd. I'm guessing he is not the guy Jen's looking for.
- And Kevin. Sweet, sweet Kevin. Kevin who lives on the same street as his whole family, who eats breakfast with his grandmother every day, and who, with his wife, gives up meat for all of Lent. The pig guy who wins the vegetarian challenge. Could you have captured my heart anymore? I don't even miss my gay boyfriend Ash anymore thanks to you.
