A Just Recompense on skating judges: "But we do get to watch Padma skate; apparently it’s something she did in her wild and foolish youth. Tom looks embarrassed and worried. Emeril’s enjoying himself thoroughly. Stefan drools. He admits, 'I purchased Season 9 just to cut out clips of her.' That’s about all Season 9 was good for. By the way, Emeril’s skater name would be Bam Bam. You knew that was coming, right?"
Hit Fix on Quickfire verdicts: "So who missed the mark? Bart -- he felt the butter lost the Champagne and masked the oyster. He thinks Josie should have strained the oyster, as her sauce seemed to have separated. He thought Dallas John's dish needed pop. He liked Lizzie's because it was unexpected and delicious. He thought Micah's was risky, but he wanted to eat more. He thought Brooke's salsa verde had beautiful flavors that complimented the oyster. Pretty impressive -- he didn't ding her for the broken shells. But the winner is… Micah. For Micah, this is a big deal, as cooking for Emeril is, to him, like being Moses and meeting God."
Reality Tea on an unlikely pairing: "The chefs have 2 1/2 hours to prepare their dishes at the roller rink, though not on roller skates (bummer). Just a reminder… Bart has the unfortunate task of working with Josie. Bart urges 'Juicy' to let go of the drama and focus on what's important – the food. Josie pours her Mexican/Filipino/Italian heritage into her teriyaki sauce. To each their own, I guess, but those influences don't scream teriyaki to me. When Bart tastes it, he doesn't look sold. Also, Josie isn't impressed with Bart's rice. I have a feeling this isn't going to end well for one of them."
Grub Street's recapper makes me scratch my head: "Josie is making chorizo with oysters, Spanish-style. But her sauce 'goes past reduction and is broken.' (I assume there was a solid ingredient in the sauce that got so soft, it fell apart — like chicken bones, or something. I know you can make soup stock using old turkey bones, so I guess Josie overcooked the bones and they “broke” inside the sauce.)"
Eater on roller derby is a sport?: "For this week's Elimination Challenge, the cooktestants will be serving 'one of the hottest sports teams in Seattle.' I can only assume that Padma is talking about the Seattle Supersonics; maybe the chefs will be cooking dinner for Shawn Kemp's seven children by six different women. Alas, we have to settle for roller derby, as the Rat City All-Stars come rollerskating into the kitchen. Man, what is there even to say about roller derby? Dear friends of mine have been involved with roller derby, and even though they've broken limbs and noses and I never bothered to come see them play once, they assured me they'd made friends for life, and when I say 'life' I mean they quit talking to those people the second they stopped wrestle-rollerskating."
Allie is Wired on Josie's explosion: "They arrive back at their digs after the match and Josie passes out on the couch as Stefan asks what happened at the match. Josh explains that Josie is just being Josie – loud and obnoxious. Micah adds that, “Everything that came out of her mouth during the match was not important.” Josie springs back into life from her slumber on the sofa and starts yelling about being a tree that knows who she is. Micah steps in and tells her to sit down. She responds by calling him a gay man hiding in a closet. Bart and his electric yellow/green/pink paisley shirt comfort her as the rest of the chefs scratch their heads in a WTF was that moment."
Carol Blymire for the Washington Post on Elimination judging: "Josh’s twee cap and douchestache fight Josie’s self-branded sweatband for camera time. Tom tells all four of them that their dishes missed the mark. Padma asks Josie and Bart who did what in their dish. Bart looks pained when Tom tells him his cooking, in general, is under-seasoned. Tom criticizes Josie for not knowing when something isn’t seasoned well. Josh seems surprised even to be there, then pulls a CJ and says he thought the stuffed jalapeno was concession-stand food. Tom and Padma correct him and tell him the components in his dish just weren’t good."
Posted on AllTopChef.com
3 comments:
David Rees (the Grub Street recapper) has a unique sense of humor. But it's an acquired taste. I knew him from a series of quasi-political cartoons he did during the campaign, then from his pencil-sharpening business (don't laugh, he cleaned up over Christmas) and begged him to come up to Portland to do a demo - I was surprised and delighted to see he's doing the Grub Street recaps. Because, come on, do you really need someone else detailing the broken sauce?
If I can't tell if what is written is supposed to be humorous, or is actually just incorrect (bones? really?), I don't find it funny.
Thanks, Minx. Your comment forced me to read the Grub Street review and now I will never get those few minutes back. Agreed, it wasn't the least bit funny. He's definitley a "Master Bater," though. I can't stand people that write shit just stir up controversy, as one of the commentors noted.
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