Recap Roundup - Top Chef Texas Episode 13

Minxeats on the big adventure: "For the Elimination Challenge, we get to share Pee Wee's bad memories of the Alamo. In the 1985 movie, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, his precious bike gets stolen; Pee Wee is told that it can be found in the basement of the Alamo. So he travels across the country only to find that...the Alamo has no basement! Twenty-seven years later (!), he's still quite bitter about the whole deal and intends to take out his anger on someone...anyone. Ed, Paul, Grayson, Sarah, and Lindsay will have to do."

David Dust on the Quickfire Challenge: "This week, the chefs enter the Top Chef kitchen and are greeted by a table full of Padmas and a pancake (or vice versa, my notes are sketchy). Pancake Padma explains that they’ll be making the favorite food of today’s guest judge. Grayson immediately thinks they might be cooking for Miley Cyrus, but if that were the case there would be Funyons and cigarettes on that table instead of pancakes. Duh."

My Monkey Could Do That on the problems with the bottom three: "Sarah’s cooking was perfect, but it is too late in the competition to not have seasoning. Poaching chicken in beef fat was a strange way for Ed to cook chicken, and the texture turned out strange. Grayson had huge chicken breasts (I guess that’s a thing with her) and mixing butternut squash and tomatoes is like mixing a summer dish with a fall dish? Yeah, I can see that."

Max the Girl on Ed: "Finally, when he gets to Edward, who has made this nifty dish with the pancake crispy bits and ends, Edward jokingly recites the line along with him. (And is it just me, or has Edward gotten looser—and I don’t just mean his jaw—over these past few episodes? He’s smiling more, he’s sleeping in funny suits, he’s bending himself around chairs. If he keeps this up he might actually become—gasp!—likable!) Aaaand . . . Edward wins! (Hey, that’s 5 grand toward jaw-anchoring surgery. Don’t knock it.)"

A Just Recompense on sadistic producers: "So it’s pretty much a matter of, let’s kill the chefs.

"Seriously, think about it. First they plan all these outdoor challenges for summer in Texas. What, no one thought it might be hot? Add in bees. Now riding bicycles in traffic. Was a requirement of this season that the chefs be able to ride bikes? What if someone never rode a bike? What if someone has hemorrhoids? Beverly can’t even walk through a supermarket without crashing into shelves, can you imagine her on a bike? Maybe that’s why she was eliminated, come to think of it. And at one point Grayson is riding a bike through traffic with a foil container of hot chicken in one hand."

Eater on bicycle racing: "Each chefs gets a bike, and they've got three hours to bike around and scrounge for ingredients and a restaurant kitchen in which to work. They only have a hundred dollars to spend, and no more than one chef can be in a restaurant at a time. After that, they've got to make a family-style lunch for Pee-Wee at the Alamo. Bikes? Random restaurant kitchens? What IS this challenge? We are about three episodes from the finale. Don't some of these people have James Beard Awards? Grayson says it's tough, that 'we could fall, we could not find a restaurant to cook in.' Falling off a bike and not getting permission to borrow a burner are certainly two of the realest challenges, testing their real-world cooking abilities, a real chef could face. As Jacques Pepin once said, 'Cooking is about technique, and technique is about repetition, and also make sure your helmet fits good and that your bike horn is trés loud beep-beep coming through!'"

Entertainment Weekly on the ghost of Beverly: "My first unwarranted Beverly mention of the night: How much do you want to bet that Beverly would have made a Korean scallion pancake (pajeon) for this challenge? I would literally bet my left pinky toenail that she would and that they'd be delicious."

Gail Simmons for PopWatch on the real Pee Wee: "The most amazing part about meeting Pee-Wee Herman was also meeting Paul Reubens. We get so used to this persona, this stage personality that he’s created, that we forget that that’s not Paul Reubens at all. He turns off [the persona] and opens a beer and sits down and wants to talk about music and food. [He] told us some really amazing stories about his life over the years and [about] how the character Pee-Wee Herman came about. We had so much fun with him. We were with him for two days and it was really exciting. He was really one of my favorite guest judges ever. He just brought so much joy and nostalgia and fun to the set."

Jordan Baker on getting ready for adventure: "The next day at the chef house, they’re all getting ready for their 3 hour bike ride. They get their red Schwinns with personalized plates on them. Lindsay puts her helmet on backward. 'We’re like a biker gang,' Ed says. They’re starting off as a group at the Farmer’s Market, and then it’s every man for herself. Paul tells us about how he rides his bike to work every day, but was in an accident a few years ago."

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Recap Roundup: Top Chef Texas Episode 5

Jordan Baker on new digs: "Padma tells them to check into their hotel and then go to the clients’ house to plan. The chefs arrive at a product placement boutique hotel, which Edward approves of 'it feels like Dallas. It’s big, it’s opulent, great views.' After spinning him in some sort of giant basket chair that’s been mounted on a Lazy Susan, they head off to Highland Park."

Minxeats on a change in venues: "This episode begins with scenes from last week's post-chili-cookoff aftermath, while Squinty Chris is still wiping tears from his face with Richie's molé-stained bandanna. Padma tells the tired cheftestants to go home and get a good night sleep because tomorrow they will be packing all of their shit into three ugly Toyota minivans and driving five hours to Dallas!"

My Monkey Could Do That on getting to know you: "Are they driving themselves? Guess so. The car ride involves getting to know each other. Ed talks about his wife, and Ty-Lor talks about his boyfriend. He has a 70’s mustache and matching sunglasses. Beverly has a ton of ink all up her arm. Weird. I would not have thought she would have tattoos. Chris has lost 70 pounds. I don’t think he looked that bad before, but apparently everyone gave him shit when he was in a magazine, so he was shamed into losing the weight."

Cliffieland offers up a gut-wrenching side-note: "Side note #2: It has been established that your gentle blogger is likely world's worst cook, having once hospitalized himself for a week with food poisoning for not knowing certain basic basics about food preparation. But did you know that in grade school his specialty was the culinary creation of a peanut butter and jelly, ketchup, raisin and Vienna sausage sandwich on white bread? (The raisins made the peanut butter taste 'crunchy,' but the Vienna sausages kept rolling around between the bread slices.) Who knew I could actually win a food competition for something like that?"

David Dust on the Elimination Challenge: "After the Quickfire, Padma announced the Elimination Challenge. The cheftestants will be going to a fancy Dallas neighborhood to cater a 'progressive party'. No, not a party of Keith Olbermann viewers, but a party that takes place in three different houses: Appetizer House, Entrée House and Dessert House."

Max the Girl on the Housewives wannabe: "First thing you have to know about Mrs. Whitman: She is a lifestyle and entertaining expert. She has written books on the subject. Cut to a series of coffee table books spread out on the kitchen island—as one does—that give the vaguest whiff of 'Self-published coffee table books of the rich and famous' (Amiright?)."

A Just Recompense on Edward's dessert: "Edward, speaking of bad backs, was doing fine until ChrisC asked him how his back was feeling, at which point it started to bother him again. Yeah, I know how that is. Edward’s making panna cotta. Oh no! Panna Cotta is right up there with risotto in the Bad News category. He figures, in spite of what the idiot clients told him about cupcakes and gummi bears, what if everyone’s expecting an elegant dessert and he goes out with a bowl of fudge? First, if your fudge is in a bowl, you’ve made it wrong. He serves cardamom scented panna cotta with cantaloupe consomme. One of the ship of fools says it looks jiggly. I guess she doesn’t know it should quiver like the inner thigh of a seventeenth century courtesan (™ Nigella Lawson). Seriously, where did they get these people? Was the object to make fun of the Dallas rich? Because they’re doing a great job of that. Better watch out, Bravo, you’re going to find yourselves running out of gas on a lonely highway somewhere."

Eater sums up the party hosts' preferences: "Each couple lays out their food preferences. Let me summarize. 'I don't like spice, cilantro, colors besides pink, adventure, surprises, using my hands, messes, Catholics, new flavors, brown and/or disabled people, the middle class, gun control, bell peppers or social responsibility. I love gummy bears, bananas and beef.' The Entree Husband (I refuse to learn their names) says his favorite type of beef is "filet." I bet it is. These people reek of ass."

Entertainment Weekly on progressive dinners: "The chefs had to split off into three groups, although it wasn't another team challenge, thank goodness. They had to cook for three couples who were having a progressive dinner party in the wealthy Dallas neighborhood Highland Park. What's a progressive dinner party? No, it's not where they serve a lot of chicken noodle soup, or have over that new foreign family from across the street. It's where they have each course -- appetizer, entree, and dessert -- at a different home. What a delightfully bourgeois custom!"

Gail Simmons for PopWatch on Chris Jones' dish: "Yes, it was a nice inspiration and a clever idea on paper but in practice it didn’t look appetizing. I don’t want to eat a cigar, that’s not something that I think is beautiful to look at. He made this ash out of cumin and herbs and spices, which again, nice idea but it ended up looking black and brown on the plate. And I don’t want to eat ash. It wasn’t delicious and it was difficult to eat at the dinner party. It was kind of stringy. The greens that he wrapped around the cigar were hard to eat because they were fibrous. It was a big portion. It wasn’t slender and easy so it felt sort of clumsy and then it was also sort of dry with that ash, on it. It needed a sauce or something. It wasn’t inedible, it just wasn’t better than what the inspiration was. So all of those things add up to him getting into his own head and not into the head of his client. Which is what we asked them to do."

CultureMob on the couples: "Team Appetizer consists of Ugly Chris, Whitney, Paul, Lindsay and Sarah. Their hosts are the kind of people that shouldn’t be allowed on TV, ie the kind of people that Bravo trades in. They don’t like bell peppers. They were thinking of having all the food pink. They think it should be easy to eat. They are not adventurous. Basically, they’re auditioning for the Real Housewives of Dallas. Team Entree consists of He-Cat, Chuy, Heather, Beverly and Nyesha, and their hosts are slightly better than the first team in that at least the husband displays a marginally likable personality. The wife should be punched in the neck. Team Dessert is Beautiful Chris, Ed, Grayson and Dakota and they definitely got the hosts with the most personality. Unfortunately, that personality is being displayed with statements like 'I’m obsessed with bananas' and 'My wedding cake was a giant gummi bear.' I can’t waste time hating on the chefs when these people are around. They’re awful. I’m having acid flashbacks to Lisa Vanderpump’s episode of Just Desserts last season."

And finally...Top Chef Refire's podcast!

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Recap Roundup: Top Chef Masters Episode 9

One more week down, one to go, and then we're back to good old regular, nasty, back-stabbing, young Turks. But until then, we still have last week's TCM drama to discuss. And oh, did the bloggers discuss:

David Dust on Chiarello's not-so-awesomeness (and the Quickfire): "Michael Chiarello is up first, and he’s all like 'Italian, Italian, Italian' – and I’m all like 'Puke, Puke, Barf.' FYI: The 'Italian' missed mascarpone."

Cliffieland introduces us to our competitors, via the food court:

"Hubert Keller: Au Bon Pain
Anita Lo: Panda Express
Rick Bayless: Chipotle
Michael Chiarello: Sbarro"

Jordan Baker with this week's haiku, saying goodbye to Anita Lo:
"Let me go wa-ah
Like a raw bar in the sun
Alas, Lo is done."

Reality TV Magazine on Bayless's hoisin ranch: "Rick does terrible. In fact, he thought that Hoisin sauce was ranch dressing. Not that I know what hoisin sauce is, but it sure doesn’t look like ranch."

Top Chef Examiner also doing some Chiarello-hating: "Those of you who were not yet fed up with contestant Michael Chiarello's overconfidence and oppressive penchant for schmoozing, after tonight's episode of Top Chef Masters, I think we can all safely anoint him the title of 'Top Chef Masters Douchebag.'"

It Happened Last Night on Spike. Just...Spike: "Spike is picked last -- and he’s typically delusional about it: 'In a weird type of way, it's very complimentary,' Spike says. 'They don't want me to outshine their food or anything.' No, Spike -- they just don't want to work with you, because you suck. As Hubert says, 'I'm stuck with Spike.' "

Speakeasy (WSJ) on the tension that is so foreign to TCM: "The injection of Top Chef contestants charges the atmosphere, dragging Master’s from the genteel show it’s been so far into the catty reality show it actually is. (Which is good? Tacky? I’m conflicted.) "

Premium Hollywood on what's to come: "I think it’s going to be between Rick and Hubert, but I guess if Michael has come this far and since he won last week’s challenge, you can’t rule him out either."

LA Times Daily Dish on Keller's libido: "Keller was in the bottom rung for this challenge -- perhaps his sense of taste is dwindling with his old age. Clearly his libido isn't fading though, as he admitted enjoying Kelly Choi placing the blindfold on him in his on-camera interview."

TV Guide Magazine on Chiarello + Spike: "Michael Chiarello makes his interviewees run around dicing vegetables. Granted, it’s a little demeaning, but Spike’s arrogant swagger is worse: “You pick me? We’ll win this challenge.” He then explains: '[Chiarello] is really full of himself.' Takes one to know one, I suppose."

That Warm Glow with some Bayless-Keller love: "Rick Bayless might be the Ned Flanders of cooking, but he never fails to produce a fantastic dish. I think he’s been the most consistently excellent chef this season. At first I worried that his nice-guy personality would grow tired, but he’s so sincere and enthusiastic and knowledgeable that he’s hard not to like. Like Keller, he excelled in building a collaborative spread that utilized the skills of his sous chefs perfectly."

Slashfood summing up the cheffery (plus: Fabio!): "If Rick Bayless presented himself as the kindest, most egalitarian boss you could ever hope to have, and Hubert Keller inspired a Gandhi-like following through his cool, collected perfectionism, Chiarello was the evening's dictator. Or as season five's Fabio Vivani best summed it up, 'I can tell this dude is Italian 'cause he's making everyone run around him like a chicken with no head.'"

Endless Simmer on sweet, sweet, angry Dale: "Oh Dale. It’s a bit too easy isn’t it? Your apology statement about what happened the other night just amused the hell out of me, as did the reader comments. So I say bygones be bygones, lets just remember the good old times. Like, hey Dale, remember that time you punched the locker and screamed “F%&K!” after the relay race? Oh man, you showed that locker who’s boss!"

Meal Ticket on why we should all thank Dale: "God bless ya, Season 4 hothead Dale, for refamiliarizing us with one of the simplest joys of this show: watching one person in chef’s whites post up on another person in chef’s whites because the first person in chef’s whites feels the second person in chef’s whites is HATING. You, sir, are our Gatorade, you refreshing bastard, you. Ahhh."

SF Eater on things staying the same: "Spike still comes off douchey, Blais still plays with liquid nitrogen, and Fabio still has his memorable one-liners (i.e, 'I'm sweating like a mountain goat at the beach.'). The great Jamie Lauren, who somehow ended up standing next to a giant person, was there too and had a memorable line of her own: 'Everyone wants to work with Hubert ... No one wants to work with Chiarello.' Aw."

BAM's Blog with some Bayless love: "As we’ve seen throughout the season, Bayless again exhibited grace, positivity and incredible cooking skills on the latest episode of the reality TV contest."

The Stew (Chicago Tribune) on the interview process: "The masters get only two minutes to interview each chef before picking teams. CJ has the best analogy: It’s like speed dating."

TC Masters Winning Recipe - Episode 9

Exit Interviews - TCM Episode Nine

Congratulations, Chef Keller!

Congratulations to Chef Keller for winning the penultimate challenge with his dazzling buffet of 18 items! It's definitely a selection that would make any diner happy. The gazpacho is especially intriguing.

Chef Keller's choice in sous chefs certainly was a big factor in his ability to get so many dishes prepared, even if he did want to throw Spike off the roof during last week's Quickfire. ;)

This post is only for positive words for Chef Keller. If you have anything negative to say about him or another chef, please click here.

Reactions to Top Chef Masters Episode Nine

It was kind of amazing to watch master chefs do so poorly in the blindfold tasting Quickfire. I can understand having problems with chervil and dashi, but peanut butter? hoisin? It was good for a chuckle. Makes me want to try it at home and see how tough it really is.

As for the Elimination Challenge - wow! Leave it to former TC cheftestants to bring a little drama to the show. Hothead Dale Talde really blew up at Michael Chiarello--perhaps uncalled for, but I cheered him on. Chiarello had readily put on the asshat during the sous chef selection process and showed the face I always thought he had. The other chefs were more confident and gave their sous a little freedom. It worked well for Bayless, who let Blais loose with the liquid nitrogen, and not so well for Lo who may have had problems with the rate of Jamie's shellfish-shucking.

So what did you think about this episode? Was Dale out of line? Would you eat avocado ice cream? Please leave a comment with your thoughts....

ATC Love to Chef Lo

Chef Lo looked great throughout the competition but was stymied this week by a change in venue and raw shellfish.

The dumplings she was folding in one scene looked gorgeous though!

Chef Lo - we're very sorry to see you didn't make it to the top three. We wish you continued success and hope you can get Annisa back up and running very soon.

This post is only for positive words for Chef Lo. If you have anything negative to say about her or another chef, please click here.

Top Chef Masters Episode 9 Previews

Click here for two more previews.